A to Z

I’m just following Annie’s lead.

Here goes — just whatever word comes to my mind starting with that letter and how I might use it in a sentence.

A — Attorney. I should have been an attorney so I may charge my unfortunate client in increments of 1/20 hour.

B — Buttercloud. At Buttercloud Bakery & Cafe, you can order french toast made from buttermilk biscuits, like they do in heaven.

C — Cow. I have a memory of a cow.

D — Dick. Stop acting like a dick. Don’t be a dick. You’re a dick. (Why does dick get all the bum rap.)

E — Everett. Dear Everett, You left this world too soon, but I will forever see your big smile.

F — Family. I can’t stand services that claim “We treat you like family here.” No you don’t, because if you did, you wouldn’t charge us.

G — God. Are you there God? It’s me, Fawn, not Margaret. Screw her, I need You to work on me.

H — Happy. Be happy, anything less hinges on self-hate.

I — Ice cream. My kid ate all the ice cream, like all 12 bars and 8 pints, I shit you not.

J — Japan. This same kid is going to Japan for who-knows-how-long. I’ll wait until he leaves to restock the freezer.

K — Kaplinsky. I love Robert Kaplinsky more than I love kale, and I really like kale.

L — Lemons. Yes, freshly squeezed lemons, not limes, and lots of freshly squeezed oranges (or juice from a carton that’s NOT from concentrate), together with a shot of tequila = yum.

M — Matt. Matt Vaudrey just sent me a few texts today that brought a big smile to my face and his words felt like a warm hug. Thank you, Matt.

N — Nevaeh. I have a student named Nevaeh, and it’s only recently that I learned it’s “heaven” spelled backwards.

O — Open House! Yes, tonight is Open House, but I have no student work on display at all. Nada. That’s because we do almost everything in Google Classroom and on whiteboards, and whiteboards get wiped! I had my students write various PS [problem-solving] problems on large white boards for parents/guests to work on. Then on the big TV, I have slides on loop showing the kids’ work on Desmos, visual patterns, and other fun stuff.

P — Pride. Sometimes pride may be mistaken for arrogance. Your pride should elevate others around you, whereas your arrogance aims to diminish them.

Q — CUE. I had a great time presenting at the first ever CUE Rock Star MATH camp last weekend in Los Gatos. (What? Qantas??)

R — Rosemary. After you grill a steak, finish it off in a hot pan with butter and sprigs of rosemary.

S — Sorry. [6/2/16: I took out what I originally wrote here. Anyway. Never be sorry for being you, for existing, for trying to do your best with what you have.]

T — Teachers. Teachers are my heroes, the same way that kids are my heroes.

U — Uterus. My, what a lovely uterus you have.

V — Vagina. Victory. Vegan. Megan sent me vegan jerky, and it tasted like shit.

W — Weed. Weed is that green crumbly leafy stuff that you can snort. Or am I thinking of dandelion.

X — Xtra. If you allow students to turn in Xtra credit, then I don’t think we can be friends.

Y – You. Annie would say, You do you.

Z — Zits. I shouldn’t be getting zits at age 51.